So Long 2012…

I don’t know about you, but for me, 2012 has flown past. It’s been full of disappointment, inspiration and hopefully drive, drive to be and do something better.

I have been disappointed by the human nature this year. Whether they have been persons close to me who have disappointed (and they have), or these horrible stories you hear on the news (and they are vile), there is hate, evil and viciousness all around us. When it comes to the ones you personally know, you tend to give people the benefit of the doubt, and when they fall short, it’s hard to overlook. I know I’m not better, I’m sure I fall short in the eyes of those I cherish, that’s tough to swallow. While people have constantly showed their shortcoming, others have stepped up and completely surprised me with their compassion and friendship. These are the ones that I am so grateful for…the ones who matter.

I have been inspired…so so inspired this year! It’s been a while since I have felt this way, and I will ride it while I can!! A friend of mine and I share similar tastes in books, so we have our own little book club, just the two of us. It’s stupid, but fun, and we’re dorks, so we don’t care! I have never read so much in my life, and I love it! It was during my reading binge that I stumbled upon Colleen Hoover’s Slammed series. I fell in love with the books, but it also reignited my desire to write. I have written more in the last 3 months than I have since college, (Does that count?!). I am so grateful to her talent and imagination, because it has truly been an inspiration for me.

My daughter has asked me numerous times this year what her “purpose” on this earth is. That’s a heavy question to face as an adult, and here is my 10-year-old asking, yikes! While she has her life ahead of her to figure it out, I’m at a crossroads in mine where I have to decide what comes next. It’s overwhelming to think of all the possibilities, but the one thing I know for certain, I may fail in trying, but just the trying will be my biggest success going forward.

So I’m excited about 2013. Not excited about my birthday in 10 days…UGH!, but I am excited to see where it takes me. I have an amazingly supportive husband, who quite frankly thinks I can do anything I want to do, so I’ll give it a go. I don’t like “New Years Resolutions,” they just wait to mock you when they are unfulfilled. However…I’m going to set a 2013 “Goal,” or maybe “Goals…” here it goes:

  1. Finally sit down and write my book that I have wanted to write forever. No intention to be published, but to just finally do it.
  2. Volunteer with the elderly. I LOVE old people. They are so full of magic and history, they are link to the past I so want to know about.
  3. Continue working out. It’s so cheesy to say that, but it has cleared my mind of crap, and given me the desire to do more…and even a bit of therapy for me. (sledge hammer to a tire…LOVE!)
  4. FINALLY get on a plane to visit another country. That terrifies me…so not a good flyer! But I need to do it!

So….that’s all I can think of at the moment…on very little sleep. But I figure if I put it out there, then maybe I’m accountable to someone/something other than myself.

BTW….some of my FAVORITE sites of 2012:
Good Reads – Lots of awesome books to read…so many I can’t read enough!
Colleen Hoover – Amazing writer! Witty blog posts! What else do you need?
The Better Man Project – Just…wow…very inspiring!
NWSL – My daughters love soccer, and I love anyone who inspires my girls!

 

Hopeless…

Hopeless-Colleen Hoover

Click here to go to Amazon for Hopeless-Colleen Hoover

I have thought over and over what words I would use to describe Hopeless…it’s honestly hard to say, so here are a few that come to mind:

Beautiful 

Devastating 

Heartbreaking 

Real

I don’t want to do this book an injustice by saying that it is merely a “good” book; it is truly amazing. I had the awesome honor of meeting Colleen Hoover during Thanksgiving. (See my silly account of how that went down on another post.) Anyway, we happened to be on the same cruise and I was telling her how much I loved Slammed and Point of Retreat and how my friends loved it as well. We were talking about her new book, Hopeless, which I told her I was very excited about. She allowed me to read the blurb, and somehow, that got us talking even more. I will forever see that chance meeting as a wonderful opportunity because the person behind the wonderful words I have fallen in love with, is equally beautiful. I mean seriously, you would have to be to have so many LOVE what you have written. Beautiful soul!

Hopeless tells the story of Sky, a strong, witty and resilient girl who, after being homeschooled her whole life, will be attending a public school for her senior year. She has a best friend, Six, who has coached her on all things high school. During a chance meeting, Holder, a handsome stranger catches her eye, but Six warns her off. Despite the reputations that each of them carry they are drawn to each other. They are obvious soul mates, looking after one another and bringing out the best in each other. Holder and Sky share a special bond and through the course of their relationship they discover why.

Colleen has an incredible gift in how she can bring her characters to life. These are people you know. I wish Breckin was my best friend…everyone needs someone like him! Slammed has been my favorite book this year, and Will Cooper, the ideal guy. But I do believe Hopeless has stolen that title, and Dean Holder…wow! Holder is not the hero trying to save Sky, he is her partner, beside her. Six, I wish there were more of her, again, I think we all need a Six in our life. And Sky, she’s just so fun to read about; she made me LOL…

I will refrain from saying anymore, because this is one that you just must read. This book broke me. I laughed, I cried and I got angry. Hopeless is amazing, and despite the title, it does give one hope. I could cry all over again from this book. This is not a light read. The subject matter is heavy, but told in such a way that somehow, you don’t want this book to end.

Thank you Colleen, for another wonderful book, and thank you for allowing me in!

Heartbroken…

Everyday, the news shared around the world is riddled with terrible accidents, thefts and murder. However, the news that was revealed yesterday was beyond horrific. I had not listened to the radio, gotten online or even tuned into the television all day. It was not until a friend texted to ask me if I was watching that she shared the news with me… I just felt sick.

When I hear of these mass shootings, I wonder the same thing everyone else does….”why??” It is always so terrible hearing of all the innocent victims, and yesterday was no exception. I am so sad by what happened, all of these families destroyed by a single act of incomprehensible hatred. A monster unleashed his fury, vileness, illness whatever it was, on helpless innocent children. My heart breaks for what these precious little ones went through, the survivors, and those who died. What terror and questions went through their minds? I can’t even begin to imagine.

When my daughters came home, I hugged them a little tighter, knowing that nothing in life is certain. In a matter of minutes, everything can change. They cried and questioned why it happened, with no answers, I just told them the world is full of evil, and unfortunately, evil walked into Sandy Hooks Elementary. My thoughts and prayers are with that community, those whose innocence was lost and those who will never get to hug their precious child or loved one again.

Woke Up…

So, this morning I woke up and continued my everyday routine…make coffee, get the kids up and check my email. While sitting here, I couldn’t figure out what it was I was feeling. I’m not sick, I’m not tired and then I realized, I’m happy.

This overwhelmingly happy feeling, okay, maybe not happy, but content feeling surprised me. Perhaps I am just in a good place today. I know that my life is not perfect, and I’m happy with that. I know that people in my life are not who I want them to be, and I’m happy with that. I realize that people I consider close are not who they portray themselves to be, and yet, I’m still happy. Despite the heaping amounts of disappointment that sometimes surrounds me, I am still incredibly happy (or content) today. I’m not sure how long this foreign feeling will last, but I will take it as it is and enjoy it while I can.

I’m not saying that I am typically a miserable person. Things happen everyday that make me happy or make me smile. But it is rare to wake up and just feel peace. Even if it’s just 10 minutes, I’ll take it. 🙂

This has made me reflect on this year. This year has been amazing. I’m not sure why I LOVE 2012 so much, but I do. Maybe I need to make myself a list of blessings I have received this year, but that may take too long. Anyway, yet another crazy rambling blog!

So I hope that whoever reads this (if anyone reads this), you too will find some happiness/contentment in this 12/12/12 day!

~T