The End…

My printed manuscript and the bottle of wine my friend Kim brought me. Super Sweet!!

My printed manuscript and the bottle of wine my friend Kim brought me. Super Sweet!!

Wow…it’s crazy to actually have written those words. Late Thursday night, technically, Friday morning, I finished my book. When I wrote those last two magical words, I had the biggest smile on my face. At 2:30 in the morning, I climbed into bed and just before I fell asleep, I told my husband, “I finished.” Magic, I’m telling you…best sleep I’ve had in a while, even if it was only 3 hours!

So Friday I printed that bad-boy out with the intention of reading it, but things got in the way. This is what my task is for the week. Reading and revising before I let anyone see what came of my sitting in front of this computer non-stop.

Will I like it? – Crazy question if you ask me, but I keep asking myself that. I know there are parts that I love, and there are parts I need to fix. I can’t share it with anyone else, unless I love it first.

Will they like it? – Terrified to know. I mean, this is something I created, and if it’s not liked by those closest to me, then I know it doesn’t stand a chance in the “real” world. BUT, I would rather my closest peeps tell me before it goes out…and luckily, I have a really honest group of them around me, so I trust whatever they say, it’s the truth.

Is it worth actually putting out there? – No answer for this one. I guess I’ll just have to wait and see.

But I can say this, I have slowly started sharing with my friends and family that I am writing a book. I mentioned to some it was a dream, I mentioned to others I was thinking about it, and the rest, I said I’m going to try. So the last few days I have told more this: “I finished my book.” I absolutely LOVE these people because their reactions consist of : “I’m so proud of you,” “What’s next?, “That’s awesome,” “I can’t believe you did that!”

With that kind of support, who can’t take on the world? ME! Haha. I just have to get over my nerves and read it and reread it and share and take the constructive criticism that comes my way. And we’ll see what happens.

~Ton

P.S. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!! You are the most amazing person and I am so blessed to have you in my life!!

Butterflies…

This morning I sit here with a massive amount of butterflies in my stomach. For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why…then it hit me.

I’m almost done!

I have spent the last six weeks writing and thinking and taking notes. Writing more and erasing and then writing again. Somehow, through all of it, I have managed to meet my little goals that I have set along the way. And I think I have I story worth sharing…maybe.

It’s been a long time since I’ve felt so motivated to do something like this and it makes me nervous and excited all at one time. This whole process is overwhelming and I have to keep myself in check. No sense making any unnecessary moves ahead of time, so I am trying to be patient.

Doubt seeps in and I don’t know that it’s anything that people would want to read, but as I have said again and again, writing it was my dream. The rest, whatever that is, is just icing. I expect my first draft to be completed by this weekend and again…that makes me NERVOUS! So what’s next?

Here come the butterflies…I have enlisted my brutally honest, but kind-hearted, straight-talking friend #1 to read it for me. I know that any feedback I receive is coming from a place of wanting to help, so I can take that criticism. Friends #2, #3 & #4 will follow and hopefully, by the time it’s been read and picked over, something good will come from it. Those four are just my start. I still want people who aren’t close to me to check it out too.

JEEZ! These butterflies are driving me nuts today! OMG….I kinda almost did it. I think I’m a little shocked right now.

~T

Thank You for the Advice…

So there is a quote attributed to Hemingway, “Write drunk; edit sober.” However, I believe this is possibly a summary of another quote of his which was, “Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.”

I’m not certain about this, but nonetheless, I like both quotes. Here’s why…

The few people that are reading this blog know that I am trying to write a book. I have loved the process of doing this, and it’s just fulfilling a lifelong dream of going for it. I’m so happy, that if it never sees the light of day, I will be okay with that.

Okay…back to my point. I have been writing daily and everyday, I love it a little more…that is until I felt like nothing else was coming out of me. I hit a wall; but I wasn’t ready to give up.

So yesterday, my husband asked me to meet him for lunch. Meeting him for lunch is a 45 minute drive…each. way. But this proved to be just what I needed. I had to walk away from my story for a bit – clear my head. This drive was where my ideas sparked to life…while I listened to the radio…LOUDLY. (An aside…I HATE the sound of my own voice) The ideas were flowing like crazy, so I had to pull out my phone and record my ideas, for fear I would forget them. I always think I’ll remember, but never do. But, listening to said ideas, only made more come to life!

Which leads me to last night, and the above mentioned quote. I was sitting here, not knowing where to begin when I started chatting with my girlfriend…lets call her Meme. (Haha). She was having a glass of wine, and it hit me, I needed wine. Okay, so two glasses, but that’s neither here nor there…three. Anyway, it was during a two hour span that I wrote and wrote…and wrote! Suddenly, the damn brick wall I’d hit crashed and everything started working out.

So, Mr. Hemingway…thank you for your words of wisdom. I shall have fun editing, I’m sure, but I love what I accomplished last night. And since it was the suggestion of my lovely Meme….she will be responsible for helping me weed through this to figure out if it is worth putting out for public consumption.

Chuggin’ Along…

I can’t believe it’s March, I wish time would slow, just a little.

Everyday, I manage to get a little more done toward achieving my goal. Everyday, I give myself a mental pat on the back. And everyday, I second guess myself. But somehow, I am still pushing myself.

One of my 2013 goals was to write a book. No intention of really doing anything with it. But it’s something that I have always ALWAYS wanted to do. I’ve never had the desire to really be published, hell, I don’t even know if I’m good enough for something like that. But it’s more of a “bucket list” item…“Write a book” Check. I’m actually having alot of fun doing it.

My mom and my sister are extremely creative women. I have always been in awe of what they can come up with. Both were art majors and just ooze awesomeness. I am more like my dad, he’s a perfectionist and skilled in what he loves, which for him was homebuilding. Anyway, I’m like my dad because when I find something I love, I do it and do it well. Very well, actually. SO not trying to toot my own horn, here. But my gift or talent is writing. If I go back and look at old journals, I’m actually surprised by things I have written, even as a teenager.

So for 2013, I decided to jump in and go for it. IF something were to come out of it, great. If not, I’m so completely happy with that too, because, in the end, I will have done something I have always wanted to do. I have slowly started telling people what I have been up to, which terrifies me. I’m afraid of the judgements, questions and doubts that people may have. But to my surprise, the few that I have told have been so supportive. No one more so than my 10 year-old. She has always written short stories that are very descriptive; she has a way with words. But now, she’s starting to write more and more and asks me daily,”How’s your book coming, mom?” Knowing that my daughters think I can do this, makes me feel like a superhero. 🙂

So, if I can see this thing through to completion, I’ll show my girls that you can do anything that you want to do. Like I said, just writing it has been a dream. Making it happen? Well, that’s my new dream.

TA!

~Tonya